Doing things out of love feels good, doesn’t it? When our hearts are in the right place the follow through seems like a breeze. It’s when we agree to do something we’re less than thrilled about or say “yes” to a few too many things that we find ourselves at our tipping point. How did this happen again? The incredible opportunity we had to serve others and show and share big love is lost when we say “yes” to too much or show up with our heart in the wrong place.

What are the warning signs that you’ve reached this point? You’re overly stressed. Under your breath you say things like, “I’m just really busy. I don’t have time for this. I don’t want to go. These people don’t even appreciate what we’re doing. Next time, I’m just not even going to ________ (fill in the blank).” Or worse yet, you vocalize your frustration to anyone and everyone in your path who will listen. You’re mentally, emotionally, and physically drained before you even step foot out the door. You show up, but at the same time you check out. You’re “there” but not really “there.” Your mind is focused on a hundred or so other things you’d rather be doing than what you just showed up to do. You can’t wait until the event, get together, project, etc. is over because you’ve now made it something to endure instead of something to enjoy. And when it’s all said and done you’re absolutely exhausted and wiped out.

If you and I want to make an impact, if we really want to make a difference in the lives of others, we need to do a heart check. Are we saying “yes” because we suffer from the disease to please everyone? As a recovering “people pleaser” myself, I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve said “yes” and showed up to carry out my good intentions with my heart in the wrong place. Or are we saying “yes” out of a place of genuine love in our hearts, where it feels rewarding and so worth every ounce of effort we’re putting forth that we’d never question doing it any differently? 

We’re human, right? So how do we do everything with so much love in our hearts that we’d never want to do it any other way? And what about those times when we do things, not because they’re things WE WANT to do, but things we or others feel WE NEED to do or have to do? I know for certain that we can’t go at it alone. First, we must be willing to ask God to fill in the gaps, to direct our steps, to open, soften, and change our hearts, to help us prioritize our “yeses” so that we don’t overcommit. Sometimes we need to make the decision not to engage in negative commentary about the situation. That means you and I agree in advance not to state the obvious to our friend, family member, or colleague about what we have to do (or just got done doing) that we’re less than ok with because we already know that these conversations never, ever lead to a good place. I’ve seen this play out countless times in my own life, especially in marriage. Before Ben and I know it, in the sharing of our intense frustration about a situation we’ve said “yes” to, we often end up at odds with each other. And in the end, we’re in a heated conversation about things we can’t significantly impact or change. Instead, we must choose to control what we can, which is our own attitude and actions, and let go of what we can’t. Easier said than done, but so worth it, I promise!  

And when we fall short, because we definitely will at times, we just need to seek God for the forgiveness, grace, and mercy. He’s waiting to provide an abundant and never ending supply of it to each of us.

Are you ready for a heart check? What can you do today that comes from a place of love? Pay attention to how you feel when you do it all with love in your heart and I suspect, like me, you’ll want to do it again and again because it makes you and others feel so good.